written on March 12, 2023

It's a pretentious title for your first blog post, I know, but I find I have to start somewhere or end up only imagining having a blog possibly for the rest of my life and since Julie Andrews taught me to "start at the very beginning" and I never disregard her advice wherever possible...let's go!

Welcome. My name is Sadie Adderley and this is my blog about multi-generational living in modern suburban America. 

On November 23, 2022, my husband Kit and I bought a house with my parents for the four of us and soon-to-be six children to live in all together.  Most people have politely refrained from telling me we’re all insane when I mention this, both before we actually bit the bullet and signed the papers, but also afterwards now that it is “too late.” 

The House

The basics of the arrangement run thus: we are all joint owners of our house (turns out it’s just as easy to buy a house with four people as it is with just two…who knew?!) and are more or less splitting the expenses of the house as equally as possible, but without score-keeping. We intend to evaluate this arrangement at the close of one year in the house together and see what we think. We aren’t necessarily interested in everything being split exactly equally, but we also don’t want either party to feel like they are pulling the lion’s share of the financial responsibility of the home. My parents occupy the basement level of the home which has a living room, dine-in kitchenette, bedroom, 3/4 bathroom, the laundry and utilities room, and a “Spare ‘Oom” (more on that later.) Kit and I and our soon-to-be-six children occupy the upper level which has 3 kids’ rooms (boys, girls, and nursery), full bathroom, and master bedroom plus 3/4 bath en-suite (it’s only about the size of a postage stamp but it’s also one of my very favorite things. Ever.) 

The main level of the house is our common space. It has the main entry, living room, kitchen, dining room, butler pantry, library, bedroom, 1/2 bath, and “the cabin” (more on that later!) On the whole, the house is a very sprawling affair and just about the complete opposite of an open concept floor plan, but that’s why it works so well for us as a multi-generational home. There are lots of rooms, all relatively separate, where lots of people (and lots of small people) can be near each other without having to be on top of each other’s business all the time. Unless you are my children. In which case you will find a way to be on top of other people’s business ALL THE TIME. Even in a large sprawling house. They will find you. Especially if you are eating. 

There is a two car garage, plus third additional garage stall that could definitely hold a car, but is also clearly meant to be the workshop which is what it is also currently serving as. We have a snowblower in there (because we live in the Twin Cities of Minnesota) and a riding lawnmower/tractor thing. My three-year-old son is very excited about “his tractor.” I can only hope he will continue to be excited about it after a full summer of mowing the palatial back yard. 

The house was built in 1965 and we had the great privilege of buying from its original owners. This is why it sprawls. Instead of buying a new house for themselves as their family grew (they had 5 children in the house,) they just kept adding on as they needed. I love it. It is such a unique house because it so clearly grew along with their family. We have our own plans and dreams for adjustments and additions to the current layout as we settle in and begin to make this house our own. Those plans I’m going to save for another post for now. 

The People

So we who currently live in this situation are relatedly thusly: my parents: Marty and Lisa Cassellius, me (Sadie) and my husband, Kit, and our six small Adderleys: Ellie (8), Irene (6), Charlotte (5), James (Jamie-3), Alice (18 months), and Sylvia (due March 15th, 2023–that’s in 3 days if you’re reading this right now when I post it. Update: she was born on March 16th 🙂 ) We also have two dogs– (as if all of us wasn’t enough..!) Poppie, my parents’ 12 year old Sheltie-mix rescue, and Nike, our 4 year old German Shepherd-mix rescue. (We pronounce it NEE-kay because she’s named after the Greek goddess of Victory. My husband and I are both classics nerds but I won’t let him name any of our children Marcus Tullius. He never stops suggesting it though; hope springs eternal.)

In a twist of cosmic poetry, Kit and I are both the oldest of four siblings: I am the oldest of four girls, and he is the oldest of four boys. And yes, we would have loved a “seven brides for seven brothers” sort of vibe to happen, but our siblings didn’t feel the same. Oh well. Too bad. So much for cosmic poetry. Our siblings are a little bit all over the place right now, because they are all in their 20s. My next sister after me is Helen–she is 23 and living the “working girl” dream in the Twin Cities. Next is Eva, in her senior year of a nursing program out in Connecticut. And last comes Elsa, the baby of the family, who is in her sophomore year at UCF in Orlando, FL. Kit’s next brother after him is Jack, the only one of our siblings who is also married. He is in the Army, and is stationed in Texas where he lives with his wife, Katie (my very favorite sister-in-law!) and their three beautiful little girls. After Jack is Will, who is in his sophomore year at Belmont Abbey in North Carolina. And finally is Nick, who is currently taking a gap year after high school, living in North Carolina and working as a line chef at a nice restaurant but still doesn’t know how to peel garlic. I don’t know how these things are compatible, but then, I’ve never been to North Carolina before. (He says he just makes salads and dessert and therefore doesn’t need to know how to peel garlic–I still feel like it ought to be a prerequisite for a restaurant job, but again, what do I know?) Kit’s parents are both teachers out in North Carolina. 

Kit is a Latin teacher who teaches at one of our local classical high schools, and I am a teacher-turned rowing coach-turned stay-at-home mom who moonlights as a rowing coach when I can. Mostly, I’m a stay-at-home mom who really loves to read, aspires to write (something–anything!–someday!,) attempts to instruct her children in the niceties of polite society, dabbles in fine cooking, baking and cake-decorating, and occasionally cleans her house.

This is all just the preliminary, I-feel-like-I-should-get-this-out-of-the-way sort of information: the very basics of who we are as a family and the fact that my parents and husband and I have decided to live in a multi-generational home. This is the meet-and-greet, nuts and bolts of it, as it currently sits. 

It was a long time coming. It’s been a process of years of mulling it over. But the final decision happened very quickly. There’s lots of story and backstory. I’ll hold those for the next few posts.